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Spam e-mails are probably the most hated all around the world. Nevertheless, most of us receive these worthless mails, on a daily basis. None of us can peacefully scroll down our mail lists without weeding through that Junk Garden Newsletter, the warehouse sale notice, and that check-in from the cousin of your friend’s best friend. And that’s not it; besides these boring emails, are the spams that are at least a little interesting!

Spam mails are like fairytales (but targeting adults) that read about the magical weight-loss berries, some Nigerian princesses, and quick wealth earning tips with just the click of a button or few. Of course, none of this real, but we get them all the time. Here, just for fun, I have a list of Spams that often find their way into our inboxes –

1) Hey Lucky Winner, we have a GOOD NEWS for you!

These spams mails are perfectly curated for those who complain about losing all the time! However, believe me guys, life can get much easier if you come to terms with the fact that, “No one’s ever lucky enough to win a lottery, that too without even enrolling for one.”

2) Even God can’t stop you from losing weight now!

For the very self-conscious; these mails often target people who have low self-esteem as a result of their high body weight. Whether they are selling miracle pills or magical berries, these junk mailers simply want to capitalize on people’s desire to get thin. I have a better idea here –

3) Here’s your dream job that can earn you 5 lakhs every day!

If our education system has failed you and your only dream job now is to sit pretty at home, while collecting paychecks for doing nothing, you’re screwed and this spam is not going to be of any help! For some inexplicable reason, such jobs can only be got if your dad is a multi-billionaire. If not, the bad news is that you’re going to actually have to work for a living. 

4) FREE iPad giveaway, and promise we’re not fooling you!

Who falls for these spams? Of course, people who lack a basic understanding of how commerce works. With Apple gaining a lot of fame, free iPad emails are very common these days. And, one of my absolute favorites – A personal email from Mark Zuckerberg, via his apparent Hotmail address, asking me to fill a survey to win a complimentary iPad.

5) Porn for one and all!

The target audience for these spam mails is universal; they expect everyone to fall for it. Different sources state that depending on the user, place, and some unidentified factors, somewhere between 5 and 30 percent of the Internet is porn and who would mind some free high quality porn? Well, I have nothing else to add to this debate.

6) Be a Social Media Expert in just an hour!

These spams can appeal to the poor tech-unsavvy, who badly wants to excel at flaunting their social media skills. Unlike the ‘real’ Social Media Experts who at least visit your office, take their time, and blabber something before making a bill in your name, the social media scammers will take your money and won’t pretend, even for a second to look like they’re doing work.

You can run, you can hide, but, my dear friends, you just can’t escape spam mails!

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